Back Issues
5¢ Cheap

Ice cold beer, anyone?

After cooling off in watery storage for more than three weeks, about 10 tonnes of beer has finally been rescued from beneath the ice of a Siberian river, the Moscow Times has reported.

The front-page coverage said the rescue involved "a T-72 tank, Emergency Situations Ministry troops and six divers".

The beer sank into the frozen Irtysh River, in the Omsk region, late last month when a truck delivering the load broke through the ice."The driver and a passenger managed to escape as the ice gave way, but the vehicle and the beer sank to cold storage, where it remained for the next 24 days."

Authorities decided to recover the truck and its cargo because they feared it could become a hazard for shipping when the river thaws in spring.

"So a huge operation was launched," the paper said. Divers first retrieved the beer, then the tank was used to pull the truck out of the river. "The truck eased slowly out of the water, but then the towing rope broke and it slipped back in." One diver was injured when his mask came off in the freezing water.

But the paper quoted the brewer, Omsk-based Rosor, as saying that the "beer is good enough to be sold, if at a discount".

Fairfax

Worst Jobs Department

AIRPORT LOST & FOUND AGENT. I work as a Lost and Found Agent at an International airport. Apart from the fact that I have never personally LOST or MISPLACED any luggage - I have to take the screams of terror and death threats from passengers who didn't receive their luggage - and hold ME responsible for other people faults - (God knows who) from the countries they came from. I earn minimum wage - have no breaks at all (most of the time), and have to deal with passengers face to face as well as on the phone. For some peculiar reason people tend to think that screaming aggressively will magically cause their luggage to appear in their current location. In addition, the passengers are not the only ones that complain - oh no! Airline representatives are not satisfied with our SERVICE, as well as our own bosses, when not ignoring our department altogether, tend to blame us for poor service ... coming to work every day (or night) is a pure trip to heaven.

SKI LIFT OPERATOR. Standing outside on a 8 hour shift in -33*f temperature, helping the winter's load of people. One question--have you ever frozen your nuts off?

Sewer Pipe Cleaner - Canada - 4.7 rating, 104 votes
I work for a town in Alberta Canada ... daily mission/job ... cleaning sewer lines. There are hair balls in your drains at home, or grease-balls in your kitchen sink, but none of that compares to cleaning a 10-inch round sewer pipe. The only good thing about sewer cleaning ... well I will get back to you when I discover it.

SEEING EYE PERSON. You go to school for about a year - then you get assigned to a blind dog. Just as I was getting used to my job and thinking it wasn't so bad ... I found out the worst part of the job. If the dog dies they will have to put me down :(
Worst Jobs

This Just In
Slave Lake,AB—Big Dave Departs

Speaking of jobs, it seems" Big Dave" Lafrance was reading a copy of the National Inquisitor at the supermarket check-out the other day. Not seeing himself mentioned anywhere, he was perusing the Astrological section when the following divination leapt out of the page:

Uranus in Leo
DRAMATIC LIBERATION DEMONSTRATES CHANGES
It is important that you free yourself from a restrictive romantic life. Enjoy some liberating artistic expressions. You get a 7 year itch to allow creative spirits to motivate and excite you. Unique fun and bizarre amusements are yours. Do others find your wardrobe unusual and unsettling?

Well...Big Dave saw it as a sign from above that, sadly, his love affair with Northern Lakes College had now run its course. I suppose it also explained some of the pointing and snickering.

Suddenly Dave exclaimed "You have seen the end of me around here!" and he was off.

And just to prove it, Big Dave sent us this charming picture of himself off on the road to his new career.

We here at TGIF will miss Big Dave and his willingness to be the "butt" of our many jokes. He did tell us however that he is training a replacement "butt"  and that he promises to send us some pictures of her soon.

Too much time on his hands Department:Happy Birthday Phil

Discoveries from the Weird Wide Web