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Hacker group threatens to release virus to make Windows work properly

by Blix Panda via The Wired Press

A group of renegade hackers calling themselves Over2U, announced their intention to release a virus they say will make Windows a seamless, crash-proof operating system, rousing worried calls from Microsoft for the FBI to track down these “troublemakers.”

The virus seems to have been written after the release of the Windows source code, leading experts to believe the hackers rewrote much of the main code, stripping out thousands of lines of unneeded Blue Screen causing code and reducing the amount of bloat.

In a statement issued from their web site, Microsoft pleaded with customers “not to buy into this hoax,” and to “ignore any suggestion that the Windows operating system is flawed.”

The company also posted a patch on their site for users who might wish to avoid infection from the virus known simply as “OS-OK.”

The FBI has found little in the way of clues to the origins of this virus or the group responsible, though they announced earlier today they wish to question an eleven-year-old hacker known as “RotN”, who is the suspected leader of Over2U.

A nationwide dragnet has been announced for elementary schools and video game rooms.
Via The Wired Press

Clumsy thief falls in bin

A bumbling thief fell into a clothes recycling bin and had to be rescued by firefighters.

Police were alerted when a passer-by heard a voice coming from the container in Bochum, Germany.

Officers arrived to see the man hidden from view except his arms, which were sticking out of the top of the bin.

The man was clutching a cigarette in one hand and was asking passers-by for a light.

Police told them he could not smoke in the bin and called out the fire brigade who eventually managed to free him.

Officers believe the 43-year-old was trying to steal clothes from the container when he lost his balance and fell in.

The flap on the opening only opened one way so he couldn't get out again.

Police spokeswoman Ingrid Laun-Keller said the incident was like "a peculiar kind of Big Brother".
Ananova

This Just In
Slave Lake,AB—Mousetrap Invention Revealed

News was leaked late yesterday that our own "RI the Science Guy" Irwin has been working late into the night perfecting the better mouse trap.

"It came to me in a dream" relates RI. "We have all sorts of cool scientific stuff around here that could be used to the betterment of mankind".

"There are a few kinks to be worked out but scientifically, the device should work" enthused Irwin.

Slated for field tests later this spring, the Bigger Better Mouse Trap should be on store shelves just in time for mouse season.

Too much time on his hands Department:True Love Geek Style

Discoveries from the Weird Wide Web

Swede sues bar for getting her drunk

A young Swedish woman is taking legal action against the owner of a bar after she drank too much alcohol and ended up in hospital.

The 20-year-old woman downed five tequilas in five minutes after having earlier knocked back pints of beerand cider and had to be taken to hospital with alcohol poisoning.

She now claims that the drinks contained more alcohol than is legal in Sweden and is suing the owner of the bar in Eskilstuna near Stockholm for damages.

She claims her ordeal has put her off tequila for life.
(Ed's Note:tequila has a way of doing that)