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"How perfectly goddamned delightful it all is,
to be sure." (Charles Crumb)

All the news that fits.

Dateline
July 9, 2004
A Friday

2004-07-01 - Wireless Flash Weird News
News Flash: Psychics Will Predict News In The Future

LOS ANGELES (Wireless Flash) -- When folks tune in to the news from now on, they'll get to watch news anchors tune in the news.

A new TV show that uses psychics to predict tomorrow's headlines today will materialize on TV in the near future if an L.A. entertainment lawyer gets his way.

Frank Lunn has created the weekly 30-minute "Ahead-Lines News" format and is shopping it around to different networks.

He says the program will have the look and feel of a real news program, covering national news, business reports, sports and weather but before it happens.

There would even be psychic correspondents reporting in the field from locations where a major event was predicted to occur.

Most importantly, Lunn says an accuracy rating would be updated each week so that viewers, in his words, "would see there really is something to it."

The only thing Lunn can't predict yet is when the show will hit the airwaves.

"Today was good. / Today was fun. / Tomorrow is another one." (Theodor Seuss Geisel, a.k.a. Dr. Seuss, 1904-1991)

 

Letters To The Editor

I've been having a bit of a problem with my roof the last couple of years. Whenever it rains I get water in the house. It doesn't seem to be a problem on sunny days.

But obviously everyday can't be sunny so I figured I'd better put on a new roof. Rather than going with tarpaper, I thought I'd try cedar shingles this time. The Bensons, down the road, have cedar shingles and their house looks really nice.

Anyone here have cedar shingles? Will they attract women?

Here's my house. I'll post another picture after I put the cedar shingles on.

I'm pretty pumped up about this project.

-Richard

Via Helen who found this story here, while she was on a break, thinking about home improvement.

 

This Just In
Slave Lake,AB—Weekend Rodeo Results

The July 1st Rodeo held the past weekend at Spruce Point Park produced a surprising upset when local favourite Tyler "Tex" Wilkie came in a disappointing second in the headline event.

Before an astonished crowd of onlookers, an upstart from Slave Lake, freshly shorn for the event, soundly beat the local boy. The setback temporarily stunned the partisan crowd.

I just knew I had things in hand when my favourite ride winked at me when she came sashaying out of the chute. After that it was just as easy as falling off a Harley boomed Richard ride 'em Poulding looking much younger than his 30 odd years on the range.

Ride'm cowboy

 


People are more violently opposed to fur than leather because it's safer to harass rich women than motorcycle gangs. ~Author Unknown

Too much time on his hands Department:Welcome Home!!
and as if you didn't have enough problems mowing the lawn, Terra Armchair!


Discoveries from the Weird Wide Web

How to say you're sorry
Cat Dancing
Monopoly Cards

Viagra 'for highlanders'

Shepherds in the Scottish highlands could be given free Viagra in a bid to halt a drastic drop in their numbers.

The People says the population of the Highlands is set to fall below 200,000 by 2017.

Now Viagra manufacturer Pfizer is said to be considering a suggestion by MSP Jamie McGrigor.

Mr McGrigor, a father-of-five and a shepherd himself, said the suggestion, made to Pfizer bosses at an Edinburgh dinner, was initially a joke 'but not a bad idea'.

Pfizer has confirmed it is considering it.

The company already gives shepherds freebies such as jackets as an inducement to buy its products.

In our endless search for the amusing, we invite you to send in your comments, questions, criticisms or answer the weekly quiz by using the link below.

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The "bumpers" on the bottom of toilet seats are called "buculets."

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07_09_04